How to create the BUZZ that every SHEEP will follow

where-the-income-grows.jpg

1. Launch a blog, shoot the comments
Without blog & your own community you don’t look like a serious person - it goes without saying. You need to look professionally, every professional web entrepreneur should have a batch of comments below every single post. If you don’t have enough friends, at worst you can deactivate the Aksimet plugin!

2. Develop a product, borrow some money
Write an ebook titled “The 4-Hour Workweek“, “Getting Things Done“, “Art of the Start“, or “How I earned 1,000,000 bucks in 3 minutes“, develop some software (like Blogrush), offer some service, whatever. No matter on that - you’re a smart cookie and even if you don’t have any good idea, you can rip somebody’s other (for instance - Million Euro Wiki). Notice - the most important thing to have is your own affiliate program.

3. Sheep won’t form the herd without a shepherd
You already have a blog & product. Fine, now you can get the ball rolling. Time to request sponsored post from the most fames bellwether in web, pig-faced* John Chow. His audience (8,5k RSS subscribers) seems to look through the dollar-tinted spectacles and I bet your ass they are going to participate in EVERY affiliate program recommended by Johnny!

4. Spread the world with Shoemonkey & bananas
Now you need to get a deal with Jeremy Fakestatsmaker Schoemaker BUT it looks like it’s pretty challenging to get him interested in promoting your stuff for free… And what of it - at least you can give him a special offer of 40% commission per sale, luckily for you & your business this guy is pretty greedy. Giving him some stats to fake might be also a good idea, he does pretty well in playing with the numbers. People really love it - his FeedCount shows 11k RSS subscribers.

5. The High Time! For you! To show off!
Do you remember point number one? Time to use it! Show off, flaunt yourself, make a parade, get interviewed everywhere you can (even in local newspapers), praise your greatness. - just don’t forget about making number of sales ten times higher than it really is. Now your marketing is done - the buzz does well, crowd of jerks do work hard on your sales, and you became one another happy guy. Welcome to the REAL internet marketing industry…

* - No offense, but… ;)

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Post was inspired by recent comment from Jeremy

PS: Shitmonkey.com is unavailable since 2004. Domainers, I hate you…

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Commented 23 times

  1. Jorge says:

    :) It seems to work!

  2. Jez says:

    Bart where the hell did you get that image, that had me laughing… well the bit with the pot of gold being carried away did… remind me to scrape that image!!!

    Anyway, I have a new idea I need some help promoting… just up your street hah ;-)

  3. Florchakh says:

    Jorge: Hello Portugal, you’re welcome :)

    Jez: Picture of Sheep + Happy Tree Friends + GIMP = the result is better than I expected. And the second thing… Climb a tree and don’t forget to take the “up your street” with you :twisted:

  4. David Hopkins says:

    Great image you have created at the top. The laying into John Chow and Moneyshoes is really starting to take off :P

    An idea for another image came into my head yesterday after reading Jez’s posts: John Chow in a sandbox being warded over by Matt Cutts.

  5. David Hopkins says:

    Can you touch this?

  6. Jon Holato says:

    I think every person who has made a significant amount of money online is up to no good in some way.

  7. Jez says:

    Hi Jon,

    Thats not true, Google did not screw anyone over when they started, though they have pulled the odd stunt they bahave pretty well for a company in their position.

    There are sites out there that market value adding products as opposed to peddling crap….

  8. Jez says:

    Yeah I still think that image is funny ;-)

  9. Acopic Web Design says:

    Yeah - nice image man. Brightened up my morning anyway!

  10. Acopic Web Design says:

    I agree with Jez. Google are pretty cool really. Any other company with their size and power would be a nightmare.

  11. Jon Holato says:

    I think you guys are misunderstanding what I wrote. I said “person” not “company.” Google is great I’ve been to their NYC office twice and they’ve always taken excellent care of me. Microsoft too, as much criticism as they get, took care of me a few weeks ago when I was there.

    What I meant with my original comment was individuals who have made a significant amount of money online, I’m not going to mention any names, but Bart criticizes some of them so I’m sure you know who they are.

  12. Florchakh says:

    Little hint - think about green raccoons getting away with a pot full of gold in this picture :twisted:

  13. Jeffro2pt0 says:

    I really enjoy how you tell it like it is without hesitation. The pig face and John Chow face is hilarious

  14. Florchakh says:

    Finding a good photo of pig was really challenging. Srsly, in most cases they all do look too pretty to be compared with Johnny ;)

  15. Jorge says:

    Florchakh: Check out some portuguese babes!
    http://2magicminds.com/

  16. Florchakh says:

    You got some really hot chicks there! For instance this one, she is awesome!

  17. Jon Holato says:

    @ Bart - that last one you posted looks a lot like Alicia Silverstone.

  18. David Hopkins says:

    Is she not wearning too many clothes for you, Bart?

    PS - Good job on the Spamipedia logo.

  19. Florchakh says:

    Jon: Her name is Catarina Gouveia. This one is also pretty nice. Damn, I found ten hot Portuguese chicks, I think there might be another series! :mrgreen:

    David: You know I’m forced to be okay with TOS of AdSense ;)
    Thanks for appreciating, even if you’re kidding me haha

  20. Jorge says:

    Check out Ana Ivanovic at http://2magicminds.com/?p=68!

  21. Florchakh says:

    Jorge, you must have some spammy habits don’t you? However, pictures of hot chicks are always welcome ;)

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